I Am Not Afraid of Things That Scare Me

When someone tells us that he or she are afraid, the natural assumption is that that person is immobilized and cannot act. Fear has a way of stopping us dead in our tracks. Something pushes the panic button, and the process stops. The sad part is that the result is not merely a stop, but a "reversing," as all forward movement comes to a halt and we retreat to a place of security and comfort.

For the moment this might satisfy us, but eventually we are once again faced with the same fear. For what is in darkness always comes to light. The energy we expend pushing this feeling away from us ultimately becomes the force that pulls it back.

But what if we changed the paradigm of fear? What if instead of shutting the door on fear, we welcomed the ominous feeling as a messenger of change, heralding the possibility of newfound happiness? What if feeling the feeling were actually different from reacting to the feeling?

To move through fear to the other side, first, we must be brave enough to feel afraid. But that is not enough. We need to feel what scares us, while at the same time disciplining ourselves into not reacting in the old familiar way. This takes tremendous courage and willpower and is a perfect place to exert one's will. If we can succeed in changing our hard-wired way of responding, we will be able to experience fear from a new vantage point.

Holding two seemingly contradictory feelings at the same time is the key to navigating this crucial juncture. We stay in touch with the feeling of fear and experience it as a vital insight into our psyche. This look shows us what we need to work on, where we need to focus our attention. Looking at fear from this perspective changes everything.

Rather than move away from things that scare us we now move toward them. Inherent in this feeling that frightens us is the possibility of cheap car insurance quotes and to enjoy the paradox is to see to the heart of things. The juxtaposition of these feelings forms a gestalt that allows us to see fear as a beacon that lights the way to the understanding of one's Self. Most important, we welcome the opportunity to go deeper.

As we embrace the feeling and relish the chance for change, things begin to shift. As long as we are able to exist in a state of feeling that has no definitive answers, we break the boundaries of a constrained life. And because we know things do not disappear immediately, we surrender to the incremental process of being real moment by moment.

Simply by staying put and welcoming an uncensored life, we reclaim our right to joy.

Chapter 42 from Reality Works- Let It Happen Copyright 2002 Chandra Alexander

Chandra Alexander, MSW, has been living and teaching authenticity for the last thirty years. Selected by The Oprah Magazine as the Life Coach to deliver twelve coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their Toyota Moving Forward contest, she also spent five years on NBC/TV/Daytime giving a weekly "Reality Check." Her blog, www.ChandraUnplugged.comwww.ChandraUnplugged.com is a real find for any true seeker on the path to authenticity. Along with a private loan consolidation education in Tampa, FL, she coaches clients all over the world in the areas of relationships, work and consciousness. To learn more about her books and CDs, visit her website at www.Coachgirl.comwww.Coachgirl.com